PARITEL :|

i want to be with him FOREVER >.<
it sounds unfair.. but i want it.


if i can just decide... if can just hold him forever ... :|

Destiny Sucks!

Destiny, predetermined events in life.. coincidence!!
unevitable ba tlga ang mga bagay na nakadestined?
Hmm. Siguro nga hindi siya maiiwasan..

May mga bagay na nakakatuwang isipin.. kasi kung ttgnan mo.. parang destiny tlga..
Mga simpleng bagay na akala mo.. ganun lng un pla may ibig sabihin pala.. Ewn ko ba..
Eto nnmn.. Nsa blog ko nnmn ako.. Haha! ibig sabihin.. nsasaktan nnmn ako..
wala preng pinagbabago ikaw pren ang takbuhan ko blogspot.. :') masakit na naman kasi.. T.T

I dont know why im always expecting for something.. Actually this world.. this world is so unfair.. is always UNFAIR.. We meet by fate.. unexpectedly we became close.. then i fall .. then now.. because of choice.. we are not meant to be.. It really hurts.. Pero after all.. i was happy .. at least i met him.. i had him in a little time.. but i cannot have him forever.. yea i know.. nothing last forever.. i am just wondering.. why happiness dont want to be in my side??? Bakit laging gnto.. haaay.. i


Alam kong may dahilan ang lahat.. alam ko someday.. maayos din ito.. Magiging masaya rin ako... kahit naun.. nahhrapan ako.. alam ko ill be happy soon.. :'(

tapos na ..

tapos na nga... tapos na kame.. msakit.. mhirap..pero gnwa ko nmn lhat.. pra mgstay xa.. cguro kung may isa akong hiling.. isa lng.. un ay mkasama xa.. mksama xa ult. mgking kme ulet... pero naisip ko.. cguro tma na nga.. cguro eto na ung pinaka nkakabuteng gwin ang tpusin na ang lahat samen.. kc d n sobrang ngwowork.. ng tapos man kme.. msakit man.. mhrap man.. alam kung kaya ko to.. alam kong my mga kaibgan ako lgeng anjan pra sakin..


ngtapos man ang relasyon nten... d nmn ntatapos ang pagmamahal ko sau..

....NKAKAUTA

Isang araw na nkakaiyak.. tlgang nkakaiyak kahapon pa.. Sept 01 unang araw ng BER, nkakadepress na, hindi dahil sa exam ko sa DYNAMICS kungdi sa isang pangyayare.. akala ko.. ok na.. lage naming ganun puro ako akala.. kaya ayan.. ayan ..nsaktan na nmn ako.. hndi ko alam bkit ako naasa sa mga bagay na imposible namang magyare… alam kong msamang maiinggit.. pero naiingit ako.. sobrang naiingit ako at kasalukuyan akong umiiyak… naiingit ako sa mga mgkasintahan na mgkasama.. sa mga nguusap na babae at lalaki, sa mga sabay na kumakain na mgbf at mg gf.. Nakakaiingit.. kanina nsa jip ako.. may mgsyota.. mgkatabi, magkausap.. d ko alam bkit ako naasar sa knila.. Minsan ayoko na mkakita ng mgksamang babae at lalaki tapos sweet pa.. ksi nsasaktan ako.. bkit ako? Bkit kme.. d kme mgksama… akala mo long distance.. pero d nmn.. abot kamay ko siya pero ang layo layo niya.. sobrang layo.. Minsan naiisip ko, nkakahiya ba akong ksama? Bkit d nia ako msamahan? Wala. Ang sakit lang.. Siguro umasa ako na ngbago na siya.. akala ko d na nia ako babaliwalain.. pero mukang ngkakamali ako… tanga nnman ako.. Knina nakita ko siya pero d kame ngpansinan.. isang mesa.. oo isang mesa ang pagitan nmen.. pero parang milya ang layo pra d nia ako pansinin at kausapin.. d ko alam if my BF nga ba ako? O NAGIILUSYON lng ako tulad ng sinabi sakin ng aking kaibigan na c Lorraine na “IVEE, ngiilusyon ka lng na may BF ka pero ang totoo wala naman..” minsan naisip ko bka nga ngiilusyon ako… Naalala ko kahapon.. Usapan nmn ng mga kaklse ko sa lounge..

Ceat Lounge 3:45pm Aug 31 2010

Ayan: Ewan ko ba.. ako kapag lage ko ksama GF ko NAUUTA ako.

Tan: Wla ka sa BF ni IVEE, D na nga sila ngkakasama NAUUTA na AGAD sa kanya. Dba ivee?

Ivee: ……. (sobrang sakit.. mangiyakngiyak)

…cguro tama nga si TAN, nkakauta nga cguro ako ksama.. cguro ayaw nga ako ksama ni john.. nauuta cguro siya sakin..

Ayoko n sana umasa, kasi ako lng nmn nsasaktan.. ayoko n asana magexpect pero d ko maiwasan.. Sana may BF din ako.. Sana di xa illusion.. sana totoo siya.. Sana mkasama ko na siya…

TRUE LOVE ngeexist ka nga ba?

nagenjoy ako kakabasa ng blog ng iba.

may nabasa ako.. ngtatanung kong yung true love daw ba ngeexist?

ano nga ba? ngeexist nga ba ang true love?? hmmm in my point of view. It does exist.. pero d nmn porket sinabing true love e laging msaya.. laging walang problema.. siguro alam dapat muna nten ang ibig sabihin ng love.. ano nga ba ang LOVE?

para sakin.. ang pagmamahal ay d kailangan ng returns.. kung mahal mong ang isang tao d mo siya hihingian ng kapalit tma dba? Mamahalin mo siya kahit na d ka nia minamahal.. LOVE is not about ASSURANCE keep it on your mind. sa LOVE dapat d ka dapat selfish.. kc d na un love.. may be its also love pero love na un sa sarili mo d na sa partner mo.. Kung mahal mo tlga ang isang tao.. kahit ano pa ang gawin nia.. mapapatawad mo xa.. kc love does not keep any records of wrong accdg yan sa bible.. Kaya kahit ganu pa ksakit ung ngwa sau ng taong mahal mo.. kaya mo pren xa mapatwad at tangapin ng buo.. D mo ren kailangn baguhin ang isang tao para sau kc.. LOVE will do it.. magbabago xa kc mggng sensitive xa kc mahal ka nia.. LOVE does not need any requirement...it only needs understanding between two person.. LOVE is also ACCEPTANCE.

LOVE is Patient. ang LOVE kea niang magantay.. kung totoo tlga.. LOVE is giving your self to a one person.. malawak ang love.. tsaka kung mahal mo isang tao.. d ka gagawa ng bagay na msasaktan xa.. mas pipiliin mong msktan ka para sa knya..

so sa tingn nio ba ngeexist ang true love sainyo? ang lahat ng bagay ay oras.. malay mo dmo pa oras naun..kung d man kayo naun malay mo.. bukas.. sa future kayo na.. Masarap mgmahal pero masakit din pero its a part... Learn from ur pain.. :) kapag nsasaktan ka ibg sabhin nun ngmamahal ka ng totoo.

Grabe ang dmeng heart broken naun.. dme ko nbabasa sa blog nio.. mapapayo ko lng saino.. Kung mahal nio ang isang tao.. Learn to accept lahat lahat sa kania.. mula sa ugali hngng sa pagkatao.. gwin nio lht ang kaya niong gwn para saknia.. d masama mgng gnto.. para msabi mo sa sarili mo sa huli na.. "ngmahal lng ako.. kasalanan ba un? d ako ngkulang gnwa ko nmn lahat e" para walang kang pagsisihan.. Wag puro sarili ang intindihin, hindi ka ng gf/bf para mahalin ang sarili mo,, ng gf/bf ka para cla mahalin mo.. :))

sana mainspire kayo dto. :)) sana nkatulong ako sa naguguluhan.

:')

Hey! parang kahapon lang break na kme.. pero ngayon KAME na ulet.. alam nio, im so happy kasi kame na ulet.. i know na marameng ngagalit sakin naun kc pinilit ko pa ung sarili ko sa kanya sa kabila ng mga nangyare.. pero ano nga ba magagawa ko?? e mahal ko e! hindi ba sapat na dahilan un para gawin ko ang lahat para sa kanya, para maayos kame? para sakin eto ung alam kong tama, mali man sa iba pero eto ung pagpapasaya sakin..

Akala ko.. d na ko na mababalik yung nwala sakin.. akala ko.. d n xa babalik sakin, sobrang salamat sau ha kc binalikan moko.. salamat din sa kapalaran kc d nia hinayaang mwala tau..:') lahat ng hirap sulit.. kc ur mine again.. kahit sobrag sakit ng mga nasabi mo sakin at pinaramdam mo sakin ng mga panahon na yun okay lang.. at least tayo paren at least binalikan mo pa ren ako.. kahit na sa mga bagong condition ay mukang mahihirapan ako.. gagawin ko ang lahat para di mgkamali.. para d ka mwala.. alam ko last chance ko na to.. alam mo kht alam kong imposible na hnidi ako mgkakamali... tnangap ko pa ren.. pipilitin ko na mging POSIBLE ang mga bagay na IMPOSIBLE para lng mkasama ka..:'( kc iba to ee.. Oo ang hirap, d ko alam pano.. d ko alam.. lahat na lng tatangapin ko para d na ulit tayo mag away.. alam ko naman na dun un nguumpisa sa away nten.. iiwasan ko .. lahat ng bagay na pwede nteng pagtalunan.. alam ko kaya ko to.. iisipin ko nlng na mahal kita.. na kapag d ako ngtiis mawawala ka sakin..

Alam kong dadarating din ang oras.. na magiging msaya ulit tau.. at handa akong mag antay... kahit gano pa yan katagal.. dba nga ..sabi ko sau.. khit ayaw saten ng tadhana.. ipipilit ko pren ang "TAYO".

Challenge to graabee, Ayaw nila sakin.. Ayaw nilang lahat sakin para sau.. hehehe! ang sakit :') pero d nmn un mhalaga... basta alam kong d ka susuko sakin.. wala akong paki sasabihin ng iba.. kahit pa laitin nila ako.. tatangapin ko pra sau. D kita susukuan JOHN. Mahal na Mahal na kc kita e! alam mo ba un hehehe sana alam mo un.. :') alam kong ngkakamali ako minsan sa pagdedesisyon pero kahit ganun ako.. isa lng ang alam kong tama un ung mahalin kita..:').

Hindi ko alam bkit ako naiiyak ngayon.. alam ko msaya ako.. pero hndi ko itatangi na ang sakit din.. :') ganito pla to.. ganito pala ung pakiramdam ng true love. Mag aantay ulit ako na mahalin mo ko ng lubos.. naniniwala ako na magging msaya rin ako pagdating na panahon.. :") Sana bumalik ka na ng lubos JOHN :') mahal na mahal kita.

Dapat ko pa ba to iblog? sabihin dto sa blogspot. e wala e. eto lng nmn npaglalabasan ko.

MASAKIT SOBRA. Siguro nararapat sakin tong sakit na to, cguro i really deserve this pain. Oo. Wala na kame. Alam ko marameng msaya marmeng ngfifiesta na, cge pagfiestahn ninyo na c JOHN. Pero sana bngyan niya ako ng CHANCE na bawiin un, ung pkikipagbreak ko. Ayaw ko naman tlaga, cnu ba my gsto nun? wala naman. Sana binigyan niya ako ng chance. Kasalanan ko bng maramdaman ko na di nia ako mahal. Kasi nag lie low ata xa.. d ko alam kung sawa n ba xa o ano. Sana mahal pa nia ako kc mahal ko pa xa.. kaht na sobrang sakit na.. nkakatakot.. nkakatakot.. na mwala xa.. pero eto na e.. wala na xa.. ttngapn ko nlng eto na un ee.. wala an ee. ang sakit tax pinamumuka pa nia sakin.. :((

:(

Akala ko nung una ok na kme.. pero hndi pa ren pala niya ako kayang intndihn.. kala we are totally fine, but i was wrong. Lahat ba ng sweetness and care nia before ay d totoo? nguguluhan ako.. akala ko ayaw nia ako mwala.. pero. bkit gnto.. bkit gnito..bkit gnto pinararamdam nia sakin... bkit nsasaktan ako.. bkit pinipili niang msaktan ako...bkit d maayos agad.. bkit ngtatalo..bkit..kelangan mgtaasan ang pride nmn.. bkit d nia ako mptwad sa maliit na bagay.. bkit kelangan nia pa kong sumbatan..bkit hndi nilang mgkabati kame.. bkit hndi nlng nia tangapin ung sorry ko..bkit kelangan magaway?????pero sa kabila ng lahat mahal pren kita. khit na lalo mong pinramdam na dapat mo kong saktan.. umalis ka.. umalis ka.. ng d tayo maaus...ang saki sakit sobra... naun ko lng to nramdaman.. sobrang sakit..sa kabila ng lahat handa kitang ptwarin.. handa ako mkipagaus.. pero npapagod na ko.. pagod na ..sobra..d ko alam san ako kukuwa ng lakas para mgstay sa relasyon na to..:( sana pakitaan mo ko ng strenght.. kc aukong mwala.. aukong sumuko.. :( mahal na mahal kita john :((

kausap :|

nalulungkot ako.. d ko alam bkit.

haaay. lagi nlng kame nagaaway kht sobrang liit na bagay.

pinagaawayan namen. walang tgil na sumbatan at sisihan.

pataasan ng pride..msasakit na salita sa bwat isa.

minsan nakakapagod. tulad naun.. kea ako ngsusulat sa blog ko dto kc wala akong mkausap.. mkapglabasan ng nraramdaman.. walang nkikinig.. kht siya..kahit "siya"... d xa nkikinig sa mga paliwanag ko.. puro away..lage nlng pero sa kabila ng lahat mahal na mahal ko pa ren siya. d ko alam kung sapat ba un.. pra manatiling kme.. haay. sana,, sana.. sana lang magkaintndihan na kme..:(

formspring.me

Ask anything to aYiBi http://formspring.me/iveeness

formspring.me

Ask anything to aYiBi http://formspring.me/iveeness

formspring.me

Ask anything to aYiBi http://formspring.me/iveeness

MALAS BA O SWERTE?

It's been a tiring day this day for me. At exactly 9 this evening I go out to meet someone ( a friend of my friend) OMG, I'm not expecting that he was the EX of my friend 4 years ago. We meet in our village then he invited me to visit his friend in the hospital (so weirdo.. we go the hospital?? haha). I found out that he was also the son of one of the politician in our town and he was so kind hearted because he visited his friend that was ill and he bought something for his friend. Later on, after visiting his friend.. we go to the carnival in our town but accidentally or may be so called my unlucky hours, my slipper pass away because of my stupidity in walking. But of course being gentleman he helped me, he let me wait there in the carnival and he got a slipper in somewhere there (he was my savior in that situation .. thanks thanks). Then after that we rode in the ferris wheel that was so fun and take note not knowing that he was a fear of height. I forgot while waiting him in buying me a pair of slipper, i played and I won a mug just sharing :). Then I ask him to go in the horror house but he rejected it because he said that it was dangerous because some of the costumed ghost there are stealing while scarying the costumer. Then we decided to walk from the carnival to my house it was too long path but we made it. It was fun and enjoy because out of tiredness we get to know each other. We shared our stories and perception in life. Then we got a stopover in ministop and drink chuckie then we talked again about our lives. Then after talking and talking he decided to take me home because it was 12:40 am already. Then our story is over.

hahaha. nkakatuwa. d ko alam kung malas ba ung pagkakasira ng havs ko o anu ba. But he was a great friend. I hope to see him again.

ONE MORE CHANCE

OMG. as i watched one more chance of JOHN (why always this name sigh***) lloyd cruz and bea alonzo. I’ve cried the story strike again to me amp. I remember my ex boyfriend and I remember us, I just dont know why. But I know even though we have our own life now we still share our good memories in our past.

this line is all time favorite of the mass.

“she loves me at my worst,

you had me at my best

but you choose to break my heart :(“

niahaha just sharing :D

LOVE.

as i browse the net .. i read a blog that really makes me cry. o gawd!! the first part was really meant for me. :(

"I hate it when you don't text me. I hate it when you don't respond to any of my messages. I hate it when you wouldn't say anything, and all you do is stare. You held my hand in a way you seem never wanna let go. But what are you doing now, just watching me go? Boy, thought i’d tell you to make a move. Now. See, i've been waiting, been waiting too long. And i don't think i’ll be able to wait any longer. You see, i’ve been ignoring other guys, cause all i ever want is you. Sure, maybe you're just afraid, afraid to be turned down, i guess. After all, it would be you're first, right? Or so i think (haha!). But surprise, surprise! I'm afraid myself. I mean, who isnt? I don't wana sound like a school teacher here, but has nobody ever told u that taking risk is part of life, and not knowing what's going to happen just makes it more interesting? So you can at least TRY! God. Call me conceited for ever thinking you feel something for me too. But this is my blog so i can write watever i please…………………………

shit. i can hope, can't i?

*sigh* "

I hate it when you ignore me, but still u mean so much to me. I know you love me in your own way I just dont know how to feel it. Your way is different from the others but still i keep adjusting to you coz you.. i dont want to lose you.. to lose us. Even though it is hard, I'll keep holding to your words. I LOVE YOU so much John.

CHOCOLATES :D

why i love CHOCOLATES??
it never fails to give satisfaction to all :)
according to the studies..

"Chocolate is said to contain phenylethylamine. The same chemical ur brain produces when u fall in love"

so if we are depressed. Dont worry chocolates are here to comfort us :)

NO LOVE?? EAT CHOCOLATES.

i <3 CHOCOLATE :D

breaking up :(

"Break-up is a sad loss. It shatters lives. But is a break-up bad? If the circumstances before the break-up were intolerable, then the break-up may actually be good for the couple. It is better to break-up with an abusive partner than to continue living with the torture. Of course, you will still have trouble coping with the loss. But it is time to move on."

when i read these quote, it actually shake my nerves. If break up will be the answer in all the love quarrel why the word " chance" was discover. breaking up is like escaping your problem that you cannot solve. It is weakness of the two lovers, once they argued and they cannot fix it.. they may came up with this decision. But in my view., as long as your inlove with each other never ask for break ups because not all people can accept this thing. What if you have a break up then in the end you find yourself alone and you regret all your decisions. Think first, As long the love is there just go on even if its hard to stay. All burden is worthy if you love the person. :)